I Complain too much on here!

Sooo this is going to be a happy blog :D yaaay! :D
Who wants to see some photos from my fresher week, year 2? Yes, you dooo!




I'm the one in the white, Plymouth uni is soooo gorgeous, when the sun is shining even better!
Today though it's chucking it down!!!


My friend Claire, who was down for the whooooole week, taught me and my mates the 'Hoedown Throwdown' (If there are any Miley fans reading this they shall know what this is :P) dance! awesome times!

These are some of the best people in my life :) The girl at the back is my bezzer the other girl is my flattie, dude in green is flatties boyf and the other is me.


Eeee I'm like a month late in getting these photos but I love them and thought I'd share them with all you lovers!
Over and Out :)
xoxo

'Just friends'

Who ever invented the concepts of 'just friends', Should go die. Well not die, but be taken aback for a second and be like 'is this the best concept in the world to make?'
NO IT ISN'T. It just gives people a reason to kiss you, touch you, make you feel loved and drop you like a hat at the nearest possible chance!

He says, he wants to be just friends first, but in my experience when I make a friend out of someone, they stay that, just a friend.

ERGH, sooo angry today i don't even know why! I feel like I've lost any sense of direction in my life, any motivation, or any reason to wake up in the mornings!

I live to get drunk, and when I'm not drunk I'm recovering and getting ready for the next hangover, before it even begins! This is what men do to you, you resort to either food, or alcohol or something to numb the pain for 5 minutes, or 5 hours. But the pain and regret soon comes flooding back.

I want to go back to the days of happiness, and high on life days. I just don't know where them days have gone. I'm so angry at myself at the moment, for getting so attached, for letting myself lose motivation for living. Motivation to enjoy myself. I just want my mum and my dog and my best friends back home :(

Karl, over and out.

Drunken Guilt.

Why is it when you're drunk you can never control which way your mood goes?
Silly booze! I told all my closest friends at uni I hated them and I want to go home. WHO DOES THAT!?
I'm such a fool, they all forgiven me I think, but I seriously have nothing against them... They don't deserve being stuck with me... I'm just going to try to stay away from being drunk around them,
I still feel stupidly guilty about it and it's two days on!
I think I need to stick with my friends that i don't ever throw abuse at.
Short blog as it's 2am but I'll post again soon :)

Men = Pricks :(

What is it with men that give them the right to treat good people like shit?

I have 4 stories to tell and this is just what happened to me and some people I met last night.

Number 1, guy X used to like guy Y but guy Y has a boyf. Y is now friends with a girl that likes X, X told this girl he is bi, cause he is but Y told the girl he is gay... Then Y made a pact with the girl that if he could get her to get with him he'd believe it that X was bi.

When the girl told X, X thought it was stupid and childish, but the girl kept trying ALL night, so eventually X gave in and now feels like a complete pawn in Y's stupid little mind games :(


Number 2, a couple were together for 2 and half years but are now broken up for 7. He still rings her when drunk calling her horrid names, and she gets very upset all the time, she still loves him and knows if he said he didn't love her, he'd be able to get over her. The prick has all the strings.

Number 3, a night out in a gay club, guy A had never been before but came with a friend, who had forced him to come. While out the friend introduced A to this guy that A had said he liked.. The guy he liked and A were dancing and talking and everything seemed great, they kissed and then the guy told A to ring him in the morning when they are sober so they can have a proper chat :)

But when A got home he texted the guy and the guy told him he didn't feel much spark after the night out but puts it down to being ill and still wanted him to ring him. So in the morning A text him as opposed to ringing him, got ignored..

So a couple of hours later he thought he'd try again, he replied this time, but he was being very blunt with the texts :| so A got the guts up to ask, ' last night you seemed interested in me are you still, or was it just the drink?' He replied ' Oh yeah, sorry about last night I don't normally kiss people while out and yeah I'm not looking for anyone this early in the year, really sorry!


Number 4, C had added B from a group on facebook, C and B talked loads on facebook then moved onto msn, they got on well or so C thought. Had a laugh, a joke was genereally fun to do!
B told C to come to the student union to meet him but C wasn't going out, but they continued texting, then a friend text C to come out so he thought 'fuck it I'll go' down some rank vodka and lemonade to get the ol' dutch courage!

Queued for a life time, then queued for another life for some drinks.. Danced the night away had a good night, then B text C asking to go round his, B wasn't going to go, cause no guys ever like him, and they always turn sour on him...

But he decided to take a risk, what is life without risks? B told C that he would meet him at the burned out church, B didn't turn up, for 45 minues C waited, the time now was about 4am.
He eventually rang C and gave him vague directions to his house. C got lost but eventually found B waiting and looking around C. He took him back to his flat and they had a five minute talk about family and then B showed C some fish... B then hinted that he wanted to go to bed, and sent C all the way back home. Alone. At 6am. Cold and drunk.


Seriously fuck men! Erghhh, what right do they have to treat decent people like this!
I needed to rant this out haha, most of them stories are about me...
I'm seeing B tonight at a party and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and stupid. I shouldn't of let a guy treat me like that. ARGHH

Miley Cyrus

Sassy, Sexy, Talented, Beautiful, Down To Earth.

I bloody love this girl!!! How can anyone not!? Jealousy most probs!

I was quite upset when she left twitter, I enjoyed reading her thoughts, showed she was down to earth and emotionally wreck just like the rest of us teens. I hope she comes back soon!

Also i reaaaally hope she doesn't do a Britney on us! Young teen sensations, usaully stay that. Young. Or try to with fail attempts, at grips at the media! But go Britney for dragging her sorry arse outta of the hell she made. I do love her :) But... not as much as little Miss Cyrus <3

That is all.

My update :)

Cevat here!
Been waaay too long since I last blogged! Oops! Oh well, so a quick summary for what's been going on...
March- I guess I was prepping for exams and coursework

April- Same as March? Haha, and I went home a few times to fix braces and cause I got home sick! :(

May - had exams, which I aced btw! Had to leave Plymouth ASAP at the end of the month to be jetted off to the luscious homelands of Turkey, for my eldest brother's wedding, was so beautiful and such a nice break. Exactly what I needed after uni stresses!!

June - I arrived home after an epic holiday, to be informed I'd be jetting off back to Turkey, towards the beginning of August, for my OTHER brother's wedding... The life of the rich and famous eh? The rest of this month was spent with my homies! I also visited my bristolian! For a week, was a fun week :)

July- This was such a waste of a month, I was going to start writing novel. FAIL. And get a job FAIL. Bond with broken friendships. FAIL. In fact I think I lost most friends this summer more than ever. Oh well I learnt who my real ones are :)

August - Ahhh Turkey, this month was the best! I liked being away from home, but I was with my mumm and I was happy! But I missed my doggy :( haha! Soon jetted back on home to broken friendships and more wars... JOY!

September - Lost my best friend day before I went back to uni, she was a complete bitch to me, honestly, I'm happy I won't see her again... No one treats me the way she did! But I am back at uni and booooyyyyy howdy was this a good month towards the end :)

October- Bit homesick, bit lazy, bit messy, bit stupid, bit drunk. Went for a midnight swim in the icy sea drunk. Not cool! Was fun, and funny and funlicious :D haha!

Dancing!

When I was younger I used to see dancing as an act of elegance, sheer talent portrayal. As I got a bit older I used to see as a stereotype for girls and camp boys. I think I only truly understood dancing when I was old enough to go out and about and hear all kinds of music and lose all my inhibitions and dance the night away, jsut enjoying the rhthym and losing control.

I recently read this ; "I gotta keep dancin'... smilin'...
to keep from breakin' apart...
I gotta keep dancin'... smilin'...
to cover up my broken heart..."
-I Gotta Keep Dancing by Carrie Lucas (1977)

And I realised that it's so true! Dancing can make you jsut forget everything, as long as it's something really cheesy! Like Abba, so you can see at the top of your lungs and dance, dance, dance!

I truly enjoy dancing the most in clubs, sheerly because the feel that everyone around you is feeling the beat, and losing control is just amazing! To know that the friends with you are feeling the words, feeling the rhythm and shouting along with you, is something that makes me really happy.

The ultimate feel good song has to be Walking on Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves. You can't listen to it and not want to jump around your room and sing along out of tune! Try it, it feels so good!

About Me.

I guess this should of been my first post but whateverrr :)
Right well first of all, I'm not saying my name, I like to keep it mysterious :p haha!

I am 18 years old and 19 in May. I think my life has dramatically improved since turning 18. I think it's because I can socialise more, sounds bad but the best places to go are pubs and clubs whether you're drinking or not. It's warm, nice people and pretty damn safe!

I'm also currently living in Plymouth studying sociology with psychology. I really love the course and I do really enjoy being at uni. I think it's hard to fully enjoy constantly, I miss my friends back home waaay too much, I miss my mum's wonderful cooking, and I also miss my ickle doggy. :)

I am still trying to decide if uni was the biggest mistake or biggest opportunity. I know it's good in the sense; I have learnt to live by myself, to survive without being supported by friends. But also I know parts of me are worse of for coming. I feel more judged and I feel constantly on trial for the people around me.

It took me long enough back home to finally grow attached to the friends I found and they became my life. The sad thing is I think most of them are really drifting away, which scares me because I love them so much and I have no idea what i'd be without who they made me and how the stuck by me, but I guess I had to come out to the big wide world one day.

I feel a bit underestimated and undervalued at uni, my friends at home adored me and nowadays I'm more seen as: 'the downer' or 'the one that is always in his room'. Granted, that both those facts are usually true, but it's only because I feel alone and I really need friends that realise this and come to my rescue, but I'm slowly learning that I have to start to rescue myself.

I think i stand to need changes. I am a bit harsh with my sense of humour, recently it nearly lost me one of the closest friends I made at uni. He's easily one of the best people I have ever met. I could commit a murder and he'd stand by me and help me bury the body. (Just so you know I wouldn't actually commit a murder...) He's one of the most loyal friends I have and I have barely known him six months. I don't understand why he looks out for me so much, but I seriously doubt without him I wouldn't be at uni anymore.

Hmmm well this blog is dragging on a bit isn't it? I doubt anyone read this far haha but if you did kudos to you! it's officially 6am! The second day in a row I have been awake for the sunrise! I'm sure I'll find something to complain about soon!

Rawr!

I just tried to sign in to my old account and was annoyed to find it had been deleted!

So I thought I'd start my rants all over again! I guess this one is about this idiot I was listening to on youtube earlier. He was protesting about how the dictionary stereotypes the words masculine and feminine (which it doesn't he was just a fool and reading it wrong!)

He was claiming how this terrible world influences everyone to thing the wrong things. Granted this world does do some pretty shitty things but I think one thing it's getting pretty good at is accepted people for who and how they want to be.

He started to babble on about male and female starsigns I got so bored and annoyed at him. He was also aussie, which normally would have me melting for the sheer pleasure of the sound, but he was just too annoying and high pitched just really started to piss me off!

The worst part is he kept saying them wrong; he kept saying 'mascuninie' and 'feniminime' the whole video was jsut cringe worthing! I know you may say it's my own fault for watching it, but it really wasn't he kept posting links EVERYWHERE until I finally gave in and watched it. I'd post the link here but I don't want to give the loser of the satisfaction of collecting views on it.